Tammy Beilstein, Coordinator for Prevent Child Abuse 
Calaveras Council, works in San Andreas and has a heart for children. With two of her own, she is a supporter and fighter for children's rights against child abuse. She also knows the hardships and trials of parents raising children in today's sophistication, with prowlers, drugs, and others intent on exploiting our children. She firsthand knows how easily things can go wrong. For this reason, she is an advocate of empowering parents through up-to-date teaching, timely information, and helping provide them with the tools they need to do a good job parenting. This is most evident in the stories she writes for the Gold Country Times. She keeps readers aware of what is going on and how they can help to make a difference. We are pleased to have Tammy on our staff. If you have any questions, or if you need help or more information on ways to prevent child abuse in Calaveras County, call (209) 754-6110, or e-mail Tammy at pcacc@hotmail.com. Prevent Child Abuse Calaveras Council (PCACC), 501 D Goldstrike, San Andreas, Ca 95249.
BACA
Chees
Parenting from the Inside Out
Parenting Support
The Effects of Alcoholism
Preventing Shaken Baby Syndrome
BACA
Bikers Against Child Abuse (BACA) exists with the intent to create a safer environment for abused children, to empower children to not feel afraid of the world in which they live. They involve them with an established, united organization.
They work in conjunction with local and state officials who are already in place to protect children. The child becomes part of their organization, and they lend physical and emotional support by affiliation, and their physical presence. They stand to shield these children from further abuse. The agency representative contacts BACA, and an initial ride is organized to meet the child at their home or at some other location. The entire BACA chapter rides to meet the child and he/she is given a vest with a BACA patch sewn on the back. The child is also given bumper stickers, and other gifts that are generally donated by the public.
Following this initial contact, the child is given the name and number of two BACA members residing geographically closest to them, who then become the child's primary contact person(s). Prior to becoming the primary contacts for the child, the bikers are cleared for participation by an extensive background check, have ridden with the Chapter for at least a year, and have received special instructions from the Licensed Mental Health Professional.
Any time the child feels scared and feels the need for the presence of his new BACA family, the child may call upon these bikers to go to the child's house and provide the necessary reassurance to feel safe and protected. BACA members and supporters also support the children by: providing escorts for them if they feel scared in their neighborhoods; riding by their homes on a regular basis; supporting the children at court and parole hearings; attending their interviews, and staying with the children if they are alone and frightened.
The BACA members never go to the child's home alone and never without the knowledge or permission of the parents. Their mission is to help the children and their families learn how powerful they can be. BACA also holds other functions for the children such as Bar-B-Q's, and parties.
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CHEES
A new heroin-laced tan powder known as "cheese", a street term, is popping up in middle and high schools in Texas, where dozens of youths have been caught with the drug and 21 youth have died. In the two years it has been around, it has killed 200 children. The new lingo: Cheese, Chees, Cheez, Chez, Chz, Queso, Keso, Kso (look for these in text messages on cell phones). Cheese is formed by combining black tar heroin with crushed tablets of certain over-the-counter common cold medication, such as Tylenol PM. Heroin is a highly addictive drug and is the most widely abused and most rapidly acting of the opiates. Users feel euphoric and then sleepy, lethargic and hungry. Cheese may contain a 2% to 8% heroin purity level; an 8% purity level is, in some cases, enough to start an addiction in a user of Cheese.
The powder is snorted with a tube, straw or small ballpoint pen. One tenth of a gram, which is one "hit", or 'bump', costs two dollars. Once a person is physically addicted, withdrawal symptoms may appear from 6 to 24 hours after the last dose of the drug. The link between physical dependence and addiction is partly psychological and sociological, and thus varies from person to person (and culture to culture). Kids hide it in battery compartments of cell phones, under the soles in shoes, in waistbands, hoods, backpacks, bras, hair buns, binders, belt buckles, cuffs, and inside color markers, to name a few.
The drug made many news headlines when it appeared in several public middle and high schools in Dallas, Texas. By February 1, 2007, usage of Cheese was reported in the fourth-grade level at several elementary schools; Monty Moncibais, a detective of the Dallas Police Narcotics Division, stated that children as young as nine years of age had abused Cheese. So far the problem has been focused on schools in Dallas. Officials expect to see more youths hooked on cheese, which is so affordable little kids can purchase it. Kids all know lots of other kids using cheese. This is the tip of the iceberg. There are thousands of teens addicted to the drug, and the devastation it can do to the liver and brain is astounding. Authorities are responding aggressively. The DEA and Dallas police have arrested low-level dealers and say they're working on several investigations targeting suppliers higher up the trafficking chain.
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Parenting from the Inside Out
The Prevent Child Abuse Calaveras Council co-sponsored a workshop presented by Dr. Daniel J. Siegel, author of Parenting from the Inside Out. Dr Siegel specializes in Interpersonal Neurobiology of the Developing Mind, Attachment Relationships, "Mindsight", and Neural Integration. In other words, how relationships and the brain interact to shape who we are.
According to Dr. Daniel Siegel, many people believe that what happened to them as children will determine what kind of parent they will be; but the reality is that no matter how many awful things have happened to you, the way you think and feel about your history - how you have come to make sense of your life experiences - will determine what kind of parent you will be.
In the course of Dr. Siegel’s presentation, we learned how important attachment relationships are in our everyday lives. People who have dev-eloped securely attached relationships are emotionally flexible, comfortable in social settings, and more resilient in the face of adversity.
Why is it that our way of thinking about our life experiences – rather than the actual experiences themselves - determines whether we will raise securely attached children? Well, attachment researchers have developed a set of questions called the Adult Attachment Interview, or AAI, that asks parents to reflect on the nature of their childhood experiences. The AAI findings can predict, even in pregnant couples, what the attachment status of the child will be to each parent based on the parent’s answers.
The researchers found that parents who have been able to make sense of their history are considerably more likely to have a securely attached relationship with their children. Therefore, it is vital that parents reflect on their past, take care of any leftover issues, and understand that their past, no matter how negative it was, has helped to make them the adult they have become.
Once we understand where our anger, stress, fears and anxieties are coming from, we can then deal with those feelings and shift from ‘reacting’ to our children, to actually paying attention to what is happening at this moment in their lives.
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PARENTING SUPPORT
I was talking with a new friend of mine who has a year old baby. She sometimes considers herself alone and lonely and wonders if the feelings she has about her parenting skills are normal. I tell her that if she is feeling guilty, inadequate, brainless, desperate and scared, then yes, her feelings are normal.
We exchanged stories about the times we felt we’ve failed, and as the words were spoken aloud they seemed to lose some of their power. I told her about the times (multiple) that I dressed my kids in the silliest outfits and took pictures of them purely for my own amusement. And about feeling so exhausted when both of my kids were very young that I totally let myself go and actually lived in my husband’s sweatpants and T-shirts for months. Oh, and I told her about how - at one of my lowest moments - I was talking with another mother who portrays everything about her family as ‘perfect’ and was inwardly pleased when her Baby Dior clad son had what my husband and I call a ‘Blow-Out’ in his diaper as she held him. That was SO wrong of me… But those were just a couple of examples of me feeling inadequate, desperate and guilty. And honestly, haven’t we all had those moments?
When it comes down to it, parents everywhere have basically the same feelings and fears. Even the “Parent Professionals” will tell you that no one has all the answers. Not even them. What they are sure of though, is the fact that talking things out with other parents will help you to see your behavior as a parent, and your child’s behavior as a kid, as typical and probably pretty healthy. Just knowing that your child is not the only child on the planet who has ever made a scene in public or shouted an inappropriate declaration at a family reunion, seems to make the experience less traumatic. As an added bonus, if you can understand WHY your child did whatever he or she did, you can then make the episode a learning experience for everyone.
Arleen Garland, Program Director for HRC Child and Parent Services in Calaveras County said, “When I was a young first-time parent, I wondered about everything my daughter did, “is that normal behavior?” “ Am I doing things right?” etc. I would then call my cousin who was a psychologist and ask questions about every parenting issue imaginable. Apparently, my cousin got tired of all my calls because she said, “Arleen, You need to find a parenting group and talk to other parents”. It was the best thing I did. I realized my daughter was perfectly normal and it was great to get all kinds of ideas from other parents that had many of the same worries and concerns that I had. Plus, I was able to develop some wonderful friendships that have lasted through the years.”
I shared just a couple of services with my new friend and asked her to call me if she was interested in learning about more.
Some of those local services for parents include:
* HRC CAPS Parenting Classes - 754-1205
* Beyond Talking Group 754-1205
* Parents Unplugged 754-6885
* HRC CAPS Morning Out Playgroups (Support for parents of 0-5 year olds) 754-3421
* MOPs Group (Mothers of preschoolers)
* MOM's Group
* Boot Camp for Dad's – A Head Start Program for new dads 772-3980
And there are more…
As we prepared to leave, this young mother tells me of the day when her child would not go to sleep and she drove around town for almost an hour with her child strapped into the car seat. “With gas at $3.15 a gallon” I told her, “you ARE desperate! You need HELP, my friend!” Then we both giggled at the silliness of it all and said goodbye.
If you would like more information on support groups for parents and children, or if you or someone you know needs help or more information about preventing child abuse in Calaveras County, please contact Tammy Beilstein, Coordinator for Prevent Child Abuse Calaveras Council at (209) 754-6110 ext. 101, or write to Tammy at PCACC, P.O. Box 872 San Andreas, Ca. 95249. You may also visit the web site at www.pcacalaveras.org
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The Effects of Alcoholism
At a very young age, I became an expert at alcoholism. I do not drink alcohol, neither did my parents, but I am a product of an alcoholic just the same. My maternal grandmother used and abused alcohol and through visits with her I learned all about the look, the smell, and the behavior of an alcoholic. She scared me. Her temperament and behavior varied from a decent woman to an explosive maniac, and I never knew whom we were going to be visiting until we entered her home.
Lucky for me, I knew that my visits with her would last only a few hours at a time. I spent most of those hours sitting quietly on Grandmother’s blue velvet couch trying to be the perfect grandchild so as not to upset her. I knew I would be going home soon, but as a child, my mother could not leave that confusing, anxiety ridden, depressing environment. That was her home. Her life. My mom grew up with the same neglect and abuse that one in five children in America grows up with. Alcoholism is a chronic disease in our society, but because it is shameful and fairly easy to conceal, the disease is not discussed openly.
The effect alcoholism has on the children depends on many factors. The child’s birth order, the family’s income and social status, the outside support system, and whether the drinker is a functioning alcoholic or non-functioning alcoholic all raise a major dynamic. Some of the problems a child of an alcoholic might display are:
Guilt – The child thinks he or she is the cause of their parent’s drinking.
Anxiety – The child constantly worries about the situation at home and whether the alcoholic parent will become sick or injured.
Embarrassment – The child feels there is a terrible secret he or she must hide from friends and family.
Inability to Trust – The child has been disappointed so many times that the ability to trust is non-existent.
Confusion – The child does not have a regular, consistent schedule at home, and the mood of the parent can vary from loving to angry regardless of the child’s behavior.
Anger – The child may be angry with the alcoholic parent for drinking, but may also be angry with the non-alcoholic parent for the lack of support and protection.
Depression – The child feels alone and helpless to change the situation.
On the other hand, the child of an alcoholic may appear to be highly productive and well behaved. These children are in control of their lives, they seem happy or unaffected, and often times they become classic overachievers. Sadly, this is because the child has taken on the ‘responsible parent’ role at a very early age. These kids lose their childhood; they are isolated from other children their age, and sometimes, they just disappear in the milieu because they seem to have no problems. These children will face their emotional problems when they become adults.
There are ways teachers, neighbors, law enforcement and primary health care providers can help without being aggressive. The easiest way is to make a validating statement such as, “There are a lot of kids in this town who live with an alcoholic parent. Actually, Mrs. So-and-So in Room 123 knows a lot about this and she helps many kids in your school/neighborhood. She’s very cool.”
When a parent comes in for a child’s checkup, the doctor may ask, “Does anyone in this family have alcohol abuse problems or use drugs?” If the parent says, “No. We just drink socially.” The doctor could then ask, “What do you mean by ‘social’ drinking?” The doctor would then explain that alcoholism is a serious disease that exists in every community, and that a doctor’s role is to be concerned for his patient’s health and safety. The parent should then go home with information, reading materials, and the feeling that their doctor’s office is a safe place to bring any questions or concerns.
As a little girl, I was afraid of the immediate affects of my grandmother’s drinking. I never wanted to drive in a car with her, I worried about her temper, I hated when she upset my mom, etc. Little did I know then that the way she raised my mother would influence my family and me for the rest of our lives.
My mom was that overachieving, perfect child who matured, left home, and then spent every waking moment of her adult life trying to be the perfect and ideal wife and mother. I love and admire my mother so much, but she grew up with a huge amount of pain and anxiety that didn’t get resolved until only a few years ago. I thank God that my mother never drank alcohol, but that alcoholic dysfunction was passed down from generation to generation until the problems were exposed and dealt with. If this is a problem in your family, get the help you need – for your sake and for the sake of your children.
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Preventing Shaken Baby Syndrome
May 2006
(San Andreas, Ca.) Does this sound familiar – My baby has been crying for hours and I'm at my wits end. Nothing I do seems to make a difference. I've tried everything I can think of and I can feel the frustration building. I've been up for hours and I am ready to snap - I just want to grab him and give him a good shake. When is it going to stop? I just can't take this any more....If this in fact does sound familiar, know that you are not the first person to experience these thoughts and feelings. Now is the time to take a break. Call a friend or a neighbor and have them come over for a short while to give you a breather. No baby or parent is perfect and you haven't done anything to cause this crying. In fact it is so common that there is a name for this crying - it's called " The Period of PURPLE crying"
PURPLE crying.
P = Peak Pattern
U = Unpredictable
R = Resistant to soothing
P = Pain like face
L = Long bouts
E = Evening Cry
It is vitally important to understand the dangers of shaking a baby because this is one of the most common causes of brain and head injuries in infants. Shaken Baby Syndrome is a form of child abuse in which the perpetrator, usually a parent or adult caretaker, shakes a child so violently that the brain sustains major injury. Shaken Baby Syndrome is most commonly seen in babies 3-8 months but has been witnessed in children as old as 4 years.
When someone forcefully shakes a baby, the child's head rotates about uncontrollably because infants' neck muscles aren't well developed and provide little support for their heads. The violent movement throws the infant's brain back and forth within the skull, rupturing blood vessels and nerves throughout the brain and tearing the brain tissue. The brain strikes the inside of the skull, causing bruising and bleeding to the brain. After the shaking, swelling in the brain can cause enormous pressure within the skull, compressing blood vessels and increasing the overall injury. Children who survive Shaken Baby Syndrome may have:
partial or total blindness
hearing loss
seizures
developmental delays
impaired intellect
speech and learning difficulties
problems with memory and attention
severe mental retardation
paralysis
Many times infants are never brought to medical attention if they don't exhibit such severe symptoms. Even in milder cases, those in which babies look normal immediately after the shaking, the babies may eventually develop one or more of these problems. In less severe cases, a baby who has been shaken may experience:
lethargy
irritability
vomiting
poor sucking or swallowing
decreased appetite
lack of smiling or vocalizing
seizures
difficulty breathing
altered consciousness
unequal pupil size
an inability to lift the head
an inability to focus the eyes or track movement
Shaken baby Syndrome is100% preventable. The Prevent Child Abuse Calaveras Council is trying to increase awareness of the potential dangers of shaking. One important prevention method is to help new parents identify and prevent shaking injuries and understand how to respond when infants cry. If a baby in your care won't stop crying, you can try the following:
*Make sure the baby's basic needs are met (for example, he or she isn't hungry and doesn't need to be changed).
*Check for signs of illness, like fever or swollen gums.
*Rock or walk with the baby.
*Sing or talk to the baby.
*Offer the baby a pacifier or a noisy toy.
*Take the baby for a ride in a stroller or strapped into a child safety seat in the car.
*Hold the baby close against your body and breathe calmly and slowly.
*Call a friend or relative for support or to take care of the baby while you take a break.
If nothing else works, put the baby on his or her back in the crib, close the door, and check on the baby in 10 minutes. Call your child's doctor if nothing seems to be helping your infant in case there is a medical reason for the fussiness. To prevent potential Shaken Baby Syndrome, parents and caregivers of infants need help with responding to their own stress.
It is important to talk to anyone caring for your baby about the dangers of shaking and how it can be prevented. The Prevent Child Abuse Council of Calaveras County can provide you with that information.
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